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    Philosophic reconsideration's and development in the progress of self improvement.
        We live, we change, we change over time.. a form of personal change for everyone is always inevitable.
    That is what people do, mostly without a deliberate agenda. That is mostly, for many, just what life does to them..
    Or they are in school were it is a subtle but definitive aspect of the learning processes, which by the very nature of it, causes change.
    Quite often in advancement of a career. 
Change happens, as life happens to be existence.

However... What if one works at change with a different goal in mind. It can be thought of as just learning, then living in a better way, of being more aware.
Which in turn makes one into a different person.  I wish to compound that internally.  Not forcing so much, as just directed change..  change for the better - growth towards a goal.

    Change can be found, sometimes just as a thought.  It has been said that there is nothing new under the sun...
There is a lot of evidence to back that up... except, for a observation that all of life is not static, it is always changing, whether biologic or as human thought.
  Like Marcus Aurelius, I feel as though I want to thank those who helped me, to be me. Their support is found not by force, to make me change... However, If I watch and listening to how they feel about existence, what they believe... and why. People teach by doing. 
I speak below of a concept of some effort of emotional stress which generated much change... In the case of an idea I refer to as #9 within a list of concepts of being.
I pushed hard to see what I was made of...
... In this world of distrust or even hate and all to much human cruelty towards others - I was rather disgusted with it.
I do not walk that path of propagating hatred or mistrust - I want inside of myself, something better to live within, and projected outwards.

I want an Open Heart... (Several definitions apply - truthful and on the sleeve, and accepting of others, different to myself, and so I pushed very hard within, to essentially become someone I would not be ashamed to see in the mirror.) 

So as I dedicate this page to some wonderful people... up front I would like to state that if I am a decent person in my heart...
A lot of that is because I am surrounded by decent people...  I want a better way of living... it costs nothing in ones pocketbook to be a better human.
But it can make ones heart beat more freely... just trying.  Will you not walk this road with me.. or chose a similar path as there is no one way only directions to walk a better road within oneself.

In this universe there really is only one of each of us... but each is tied to the whole as no one is an island.

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Some Dedications
    Michael Crock wrote this page©2012~2016 ~ why no "Facebook, Twitter or some other social network floating in a cloud"?...  The commercial interests involved and government stake holders own all you produce, if you publish on those sites. And I have what it takes to make this page here. This is not a blog yet it is so similar, its conceptual evolution, philosophical in nature, I don't know how much is new but I wrote it. It will change over time as I change, my thinking changes.  Friends are always welcome to e-mail me, (or visit with me, sooner - is always welcomed) - having a different opinion than mine is also expected, I can use input.  It does affect how I see and grow and then I share here... none of us are clones, if we are human then be a human.

    In point of fact I run many ideas past these living people mentioned and get feed back as to whether the ideas are really valid in concept, if they wish to express their input, I listen. - not that they would necessarily agree with, or necessarily disagree with these ideas, as It is my personal growth... just that they are not so whacky... in the sum of all ideas applied by me to try and become a more balanced person.. these people are a diverse group - As a balance to what I am doing.. they may well see a different world than I - and I am running ideas of concepts by them specifically..  sometime collectively or sometimes as individuals...
 A cross check from very sane super intelligent people in my opinion.  These are friends, people I admire, respect and love.
    A good friend I knew died just a few years ago in his paradise of Hawaii... I did not know, until recently, he had died... I was looking for him.  Willy Tonquet 1954-2011, Hardly a perfect person, nobody is really....  His journey was short and intense. He once said I was like Siddhartha at the river... He was being kind and always challenging me to be more than I was, He was a lot smarter and philosophical than many gave him credit for... I will miss him.
 

    From the long past, she is in my heart forever - Regina L. Rogers  - She was my mentor, friend, instructor of life, and of some aspects of the female mind, in so many ways shaped my mind to look at life, not as what was, but what could be - a moment in time,  Life cut short 1968 from one of the most pointless of deaths - an automobile accident. My loss on the inside is immeasurable.

    To Judy S. Spencer -  Powerful in body and spirit. Beautiful, the same in her heart - For me to say she was an Angel, the understatement of the millennial times - taught me so much of the future... I could not go and she could not stay... but love can go on forever.  Judy's existence - a mystery - I want to believe she still lives... and is happy.  I miss you. 

    To Claudia Balassi - Gregariousness and generosity, always willing to give from the heart... Willing to risk her life of loving and helping others in the supreme effort to the end... life cut short 2012 from a handgun she was trying to take away from the one who shot her. Claudia was trying to prevent a mentally deficient person from hurting himself and likely others... Words exist, what I feel about it. They hurt emotionally and can not be expressed without the pain of loss being expressed, however, the truth is somewhat beyond the personal wish for a gentle world of our best dreams of what the human is. 

I would like to dedicate this page going forward now to the living:  These are the living - we stand with the actions and thoughts from those who went before... in the hopes of those who make our life be better in a near future of the present about to happen.
   
    To Jennifer Whitewolf Crock whose integrity and stability of purpose is rock solid. Spiritually and intellectually stable, Life companion and she tolerates me 24 / 7. I should add she tolerates a lot because I evolve and change (hopefully for the better) ...  We walk this road of trials together, combined and on our individual journeys, much shared. It is not expected that we be mirrors of each other, but one of the first steps towards mutual respect is the recognition that we as individuals are very different, Yet a shared experience.  Equal to each other as beings but very different.

    To Angela L. - Who helps me to see a path in which to grow towards, she gets me to reflect upon positive change, and helps generate introspection towards my goals of becoming better as a person. Smart, eloquent and linguistically challenging. She tests my will to be who I am. A very good friend for what I hope is a very long life. Angela's life is as a smile of great warmth for so many, a hope resides within. 

    To Robert W. - Who has a difference from which I test myself to understand different ways of being. Of the concept of what free-will is, and helps me to see viable but different paths - A very good old friend from long ago to the present and into a long future ahead.

    To Mike and Trudy T. - Who are an inspiration for overcoming the trials of a life with great tenacious stamina and the desire to be more than just those who survives, but thrives with applied faith and a great hope. The efforts of applied energy towards achievements, yet being kind to those around them, always offering a helping hand... very good friends now and in the future. 

    T
o Kim C. -  Who is a great parent of smart, well educated people who grew up and are now well on their way in life... That is no small achievement. My smart sister... a very tough survivor of a difficult life. Giving welcomed advise of so many concepts of the practical application of time and effort towards achieving a good outcome for so many. It is a good thing in a tumultuous world. I listen and hear.
   
    To Renée O'C. - More than Just the inspiration she is in being herself. Highly inspirational and driven towards self improvement. Always with something new going on, life is not static but flows forward. Very professional, focused and her self driven goals to achieve more. A risk-taker for a better life of following her heart, She demands the challenge to do what was seen as impossible.  A focus of my admiration and to a healthy higher energy life. 
Renée is the arc of her own story of change for the better. In my heart, I see her as a friend on the path of the future yet to come. Hope is so fundamental to our existence. Her life is full of achievements of a dauntless spirit. She has a good heart of kindness within her desires to follow her expression of her art of acting, writing, directing and producing relevant works. And she follows her heart with the knowledge that her success in life came by her own efforts and the love of many standing with her.. 

    To Rick G. - Who we have known for many years, a writer, a very good friend... and with the sharp wits to see much and understand the human mind, as well as anybody... education that exceeds what schools can create... As it should be really, one of my patient advisers - think I can do this alone?


As part of my dedication is a knowledge derived from one of the life factors of the Old Norse and is one I believe in...

  ... All of us leave a legacy of what we have done.  The Old Norse considered your reputation after your life, to be of equal importance to life itself when alive... A truth, written in stone, so to speak as one is gone - something I keep in mind. As a way to judge the value of what is important to those who are going to remain with your actions and the love you have given from the efforts of a life worthy of being remembered.  I should note, such a strong and tough culture as they were... they respected women as they respected men... power, wealth, words, fighting, Love - all one people. Equals in life and death.


, even as that is determined by those who remain... but the odds are that those who try and make a positive difference beyond themselves will have those who do remember and wish in the passing of their lives that those who tried to help us all exist, in a better state of existence now... will bring a fonder memory than those who brought the pain of turmoil and a harder existence than that which we all have anyway, living in a world were so many think only of themselves in the present of their brief existence.

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 I am still developing as a human, 63 now, most people assume as such, I must be pretty set in my ways. Its natural enough when they first meet anyone "older".   However, it is not what I do.      
For a good portion of my life I always had a sense of change and it was something I was aware of. Mostly because I was in a rapidly changing environment.
I can't say when I made it a deliberate continual process, with a goal.

Some years ago, I gave it a definition by way of a goal I was capable of. One that is by the nature of its purpose unobtainable. However, definable in its soft objective.
 
I want to be a better person, a better human being.  If that idea is to have any value or substance first I have to believe it is possible.
And then I have to live it or live with it, I consider the two to be the same.  Causality.

    There are a lot of people in the world, The exact numbers are a relative approximation and accuracy is just a guess because they live and die at the same time, somewhere.
However, notice the continuum. Language, culture, populations of people, is existence. Is a Society, if its big enough we call it a civilization, whether or not we judge it to be civilized.
Nobody is an island.  Its true that a given individual with enough training, skill and some x-plus factor can survive for a time on their own, that is not what I am saying. Because such a person who tries to exist, as an example, is a deliberate effort after the fact.  Place a human baby with nothing into the wilderness and what do you find after a time... the child dies or in some strange aspect of nature, say a wolf pack adopts the child as a puppy, if it survives, which has happened - it will know nothing of the world. No aspect of a human civilization is instinctive - nor is behavior. 

By extrapolation you teach someone to follow and that is what they do,  if you teach them to think...  They will.

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edit marker - July 28 - 2016

   previously written and under the editors pen
:  lots will seem to be gone if you are returning,
It is temporary - and much will return.  Yes it is a mess... half the battle is seeing it, as it is.

In reorganizing this page... I am placing the main philosophic principles here:

# 1  Believe in yourself.
Believe that the human mind can become something changed, even self formed into something better than before.
Yes goal dependent... with enough effort of will.  And if the motivation is there to want it bad enough.

    When you were young, you went to school, you read books... used your computer to read the internet :) you grew into a person different than before... whats the difference?... none.
   
# 2. If through repetitive effort and seeing the effects of change, reinforcing the path as being correct to the goals.
Soon it will become who you are, if desired by oneself.

# 3. Willingness to be criticized or corrected by others or oneself if the changes are wrong or don't work.
Presuming correctness is a mistake unto itself. Change for changes sake does not make changes good ones.  pay attention to how others react to you.

# 4. Do not assume that the world is already going in some path of unchanging destiny driven by fate.
Believe one person can make some difference, even yourself.
Do not assume that the world is so screwed up it is not worth the effort.  Have some faith in something you believe in, make it real within yourself.

# 5. Sharing the ideas with others makes a difference... 
Actually doing it by living it makes a tangible difference to yourself and those around you.
Have an open heart and share it willingly. It will justify itself or not if it is wrong for you.
 
# 6. Recognize the best in others and learn from them. 
One does not stand alone.  Human civilization developed over a long time, you did not pop into the world standing alone. Nor is it always good to assume that society has all the bugs of itself worked out...
(look at history) but individuals are just that, those who try to do better can sometimes be recognized, look at how they look at life... learn from them if possible.

# 7. Have some faith in something, tangible or not, perhaps in the power of hope backed up with some effort of the will can work sometimes. 
A leap of faith in ones own power to accomplish something difficult.  Hope is a mover, it is at the core of being.

# 8. And the big one for many... Question Religions. All of them. That is not the same as no longer finding faith in that which can not be shown... just know it for what it is... your faith.
        We live in dangerous times, hate driven by religion is destructive to a better world.  Look at the world a tell me it is not so.
Are they really doing what they are suppose to do... elevate the spirit, give functional guidance without hate as a motivation to believe... Seeing oneself as guilty of something just because you are alive is nonsense. Do they serve only the goal of control over the spirit. Or worse yet, some crush the spirit.  Some do nothing but promote fear and hatred. If not amongst themselves, then of other people... I am not here to judge,  but I do have a mind and I can see.  Some religions specialize in demoniac representations of other religions declaring theirs to be the one true belief and way...  What nonsense... Question it all, especially anyone or any group who make proclamations to have all of the answers. I will not walk that path.

*What do I see as The Creator of all.  Look at "life" and see the hand of the Creator... Nature is evolution and change, and that it is there, that one will find The face and hand of creation itself...
... its life itself, life finds a way... it is all across the cosmos, it is the cosmos looking at itself, as us. As we are it as much as it is us.  We are not God, but we are alive. And to be alive means the Creator Force is in us... Respect that in all that lives... But we have an extra special gift the creation force of nature gave you human... Want to be special?

** Nature gifted you with an evolutionary mind, you learn, you can grow into new thoughts about the nature of the universe.
 
The possibilities are limitless. Do not squander that gift, that special gift that other beings of the world likely have less of...
And So...
    ... what qualifies as some kind of "Sin"? (I don't like that term but if it fits to your way of understanding it)  Well you have a mind the creator gave you to use... Disregarding that gift for the strict following of opinions and rules of those who would only set out to control your thoughts...  in other words, mindlessly following any religion of limitations that promotes the exclusion of others or of creating an especial aspect of one group of humans over other groups of humans for its own sake...   try that for a start...
 
# 9. This is a little radical, It is a leap in faith of the essential good in most people.
I said I was going to try to reach for real change.  I said I wanted more from myself. 
Well here it is and I can't promise to say it well since in many ways it runs counter to what a lot of people in society do... We do as we know and if Free-will as I understand it is questionable as to whether it exists or not and how the world works then this is pressing the boundary a little.   I have lived this for a few years now and it is beginning to have a long term effect in how I see people.
 
A lot of what I do is tested in private prototyping of emotions and the manor of how I derived this needs to remain so for the time being, so this may seem to just leap out as unexplainible.
 
This in a way is giving from within, with trust in the better side of humanity by will of your faith in others to be better without involving yourself in judgment of them... that it seems, is radical.
 
Lets say you like someone... lets say you wish them well in life,  Maybe you are a fan of them, as a person.  Maybe they are a friend or family... There is a lot of latitude here.  
 
Every person is both a product of their environment but also is a product of their own efforts and will to be who they are...  included in their lives are those whom they know and care about.  You may not know exactly who those people are... if you do you may not know or understand the importance in the life of the one you do care about, has for them in their life.  Why and what they see as important to them, may not even be your concern.  It is a part of who they are and make their life complete in a way often disregarded by a world that sees people distinct from those they know.

*  I am suggesting it is more connected than that in reality of what make the world be what it is, it is essential, to them making/influence/teaching/shaping them into what you liked or loved in the first place.  By extension everyone is like this from the perspective of its not proven to be wrong, by their actions of deeds done.
 
  Try this for the people you care about. 
  People you like and admire, those you love... Your friends.. their friends.
 
  Perhaps you think of yourself as a fan of whoever it is.
  You like who they are as a person, perhaps even greatly enough that you do care about them as important in your heart.

  Now, about the person or persons favored in you eyes.. Here is my radical suggestion:
 
  Don't just feel that for them alone as their world is the collective of whom they know.  Those close to them influence them in a way that helps define whom they are... and it is not your place to question how that works... but care equally for all of what make this inwardly defined special person be who they are.  Care for those other people involved in the life of the one you care about, all of those other people help define the one.  
 
  So...
    If you care for someone, set them free in your heart... 
    Love them and those they love without pre-judgment, recognize it is the entirety of their world inwardly and outwardly, that is who they are...
  Loose the jealousy, if it exists, a person does not stand as a good person alone from those they know...
        Caring for them does not cost you anything, you gain a world of connections you did not see before.
  Why...
It helps develop, as sense of the depth of the world in ways not often emphasized in the modern world... And it helps in understanding the relevance of others in the lives of people you may care greatly for...   and don't spy on them,  that’s intrusive and breaks down trust.  It undermines the sanctity of their individual rights as a human being.
 
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after thoughts on that:  It is not easy to love humanity based on perceptions as displayed on a news network on television that "spin's the news towards political goals or with the goal of changing the world to reflect a political goal, based strictly with profits in mind".  Humans are geared to see change before all else - and often forget that most of the time, most people get along or are trying to do that...

A belief:
Do you believe that in a connected world where you are only 4 people away from anybody.   i.e. You know someone (anyone) who knows someone who knows someone else who is the connection to the person you care-for  (anybody).  I do.


    As an Associate Producer and contact person, an agent for selling a screenplay... for motion picture production, I proved it to myself repeatedly.
This thinking is kind of way out there.  I believe in humanity when humanity is given freedom within a civilized society... 

 Do not be fooled - most people are in fact good humans trying to be better - with a plan or not, to achieve that.
It would seem as though we live in a terrible world, look at the news of today... The news could brink one down in spirits - if hope was not there...

At this time in history, particularly in an age of twitter, face-book and the all but complete lack of privacy from the government on down... coupled with surveillance of all, by some pretty ugly forces in the world...

lack of a privacy in concept - It causes a breakdown of mutual respect for the integrity of the human spirit.
 
Taking peoples freedom away by destroying privacy... their self respect.  How:  Begin  watching everyone and the world begins to close down into some dark place were civilization begins to fall apart.  I believe that is what generates the downward spiral of a police state...  Trust will disappear, fear rises, then distrust becomes an emotion with causality of societal destruction.

Look at the world now and say it is not so, it is all around and news travels faster than ever in a social networked world.

    I know This is a radical and dangerous approach, because, it seems sometimes we live in a world of hatred, risk from physical attacks, of mindless wackos, murder, war, governments loosing common sense and major religions thinking and thriving in very nonspiritual terms, often including sexual predators cloaked in robes of false trust, or preaching entire civilizations are just unworthy of their vision of the future and need to be subdued into submission along with their own peoples.
    However that is... consider this in what was just said... 
    If you have it in your heart to think about the one standing next to you may be important to someone you know and care for.
The person walking down the street may not have it out for you as they are walking down the street going home or to the store. 
As you are so busy getting from here to there... you are neither alone in that endeavor and more people are in the world just trying to live and get by than those who are thinking of ways to do you in.

You see we also live in a highly connected world were more people have peaceful ways to get along or communicate... the world does not express that it mostly gets along without war or death camps of hate.
    The news is bad and looks at what is different far more than it looks at the world making a new and better life... because that is natural to see what is out of place, whats different. We are wired that way.

    If you slow down and think for just a second about what I have written here and it causes you to pause for just a second... the odds are in your favor of smiling at whoever is next to you and who knows they might smile back...  we share more with our common needs than most people automatically think about...  Try automatic friendly rather than automatic fire.

    I am trying to live in my heart with a new approach to people and walk the talk... While I also keep in mind that this is radical and the world really can be a dangerous place, I walk with a purpose and I am also aware of were I am. However, I also walk without fear, because in my heart I have tried to walk a clean truthful and hopeful road.

  I will not live forever, what do I want as my reputation after I am gone... perhaps it is what I have written as a motive to how I behaved as I believed.
   
    My ancestors were proudly  The Norse  but it is also true that those cultures in the world today... are some of the most peaceful peoples on this Earth.  This is not an accident, its evolution and a hard won realization with some wisdom.

    In no way am I advising people to become pushovers and victims of crime. For all of the bad people who are out there, I am Aware, but you might consider what I have said, its what I want to feel in my heart. There must be a better way in the future... Loose the hate for its a destructive ugly force.  Trust that most people are actually nice.  Even if they look different than you, trust that you have more in common than not.


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     1.  Eat right, the right foods in the right amounts.  Some specific recommendations will be found below all natural and proven over many millennia, to be good for you...
     2.  Exercise some, move around. Workout, do not stagnate physically.  Yoga perhaps is a good place to start, it incorporates the mind and body as one...
            The body is a living machine and it wants to be used for all that you do - do not overdo it though, listen to it.  take it slow if you are not in tip top shape and....
     3.  Feed the mind with productive thoughts and imaginative ideas.  it is just as much a part of the body as, well, the body itself... one in the same.
     4.  Do not disregard the concept of the spiritual self... it is built into you for a reason. The spirit and the mind, make the body.  All of it, is one.

This is not nonsense, it can be very real.  You make it so, believe in yourself. 

    What is in a society that's important?.. It is who we are, as the collective of individuals, I stand on the side of liberty... equally I stand on the side that understands and recognizes we do not stand alone for our own and only sake. {{Link to a good site about transitionalism}} a very good friend has created, His name is Robert Wasley. There is much, I would like to say about it...    I am looking at the integration of both as a common essence to the existence of each.  I would say right off hand that his approach is based on the effects of change more at the society centric view with the individual integrated into it evenly, yet starting with the individuals responsibility towards a humane and integrated approach towards that future society to be. He writes about what that might look like  It is well worth your time to read what he has to say and his observations will give some insights which will cause some serious reflections to the subject... 

My writings are not as sophisticated and I freely admit it is a bit off the cuff so to speak... And starts with the individual changing oneself within any given modern society, whether or not society agrees or not... that is to say I am approaching the aspects of change directly from the inside out...  I don't actually expect much from society in terms of a civilized response for a very long time...  We both wish it were not such an uphill walk.  One thing is apparent with both of us... we are approaching the obvious need for change both as humans and as society.   I don't think either of us expect big things of what we are doing... but if a ripple of change begins... it is a big deal.  Also as we have been friends going back decades it is interesting that both of us started some path independently at first and now were are aware of the others thoughts about it.   From my point of view as an individual, I expect to try and be civilized and logical about why that is important but I need for that to be something that comes from within... And I can not expect any help from the world... Being humane is running against the wind.  Few religions as expressed in reality exhibit the trait, yet platitudes about that abound with most. For me being there without the use or desire for a specific religion as a construct of other humans attempts to control society is the goal.   As I said the creator of all gave one a mind to use. Using it to make a better world for all is not a waste of time, it can define a better world...  It is not a necessity to have a world of specific religions trying to defeat each other as though it was a man made competition of destruction... or is it.
    It seems to me that is what it turned out to be.  This is not a blame game, plenty of that to share...  For me, its walk away, walk a different path... Don't look back at what never worked and expect a different outcome.

  One of the best reflectors of the human spirit to be free in thought and action.  In the end, the direction of the future of humanity itself, willfully resists restrictions imposed upon it from all forces that close off channels of change.  All religions of static thought or of political absolutism's fail in the end, for the simple reason that humanity grows, and old ways of doing anything, that does not keep pace, will be discarded in time for that which does what humanity collectively needs.  It may take centuries, over thousands of years perhaps... but if you look with the long view it is obvious that nothing is forever, and humanity is all change all of the time.  The human existence and experience is an open door into infinity of thought, of spirit and inevitably of actions that lead in that direction... If enough people as individuals share some common goal towards humane behavior it can affect entire civilizations. 
    And humanity will grow into a better world for all.  That is a very tall task but I need to think it is possible... And care not that currently, few believe it is.

 

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     Strength of ones inner self is not measured in muscle, it is in will and comprehension, and some desires may need to be overcome by conscious effort of that will, within the comprehension of understanding.  This strength is nether Masculine nor Feminine it could be both, it might be neither.  I suspect my appreciation of the character as example has a lot to do with my natural attraction towards women.  So be it, if that too is a reflection of who I am... so be that as it is.

Generally speaking women can make better communicators in western society than most men... Not always, but mostly, it is just a fact.  So what.  I will just have to try harder, so to speak.... Not an impossible task, so it seems to me...  Since I do think of myself as being a good communicator, I think it is somewhat irrelevant that I do admire women as much as equals in all aspects of meaningful life. 
       In point of fact it just makes no absolute difference.   Anyone can be anything one can envision. Or one can avoid being anything one does not want to be.  It works whichever way because it is defined by us as we are doing it.  How other people see us is through whatever prisms or prisons they have wrapped around their minds.  At this stage of humanity's road of existence, that will not change, get use to it and move on to what you think needs to be done.

One can be sensitive to that, and let that define their actions or not really be defined within their own being as constrained by those definitions projected to them by society at large.
That is not narcissistic as I see it.  It is self determination.  Before you can be someone, first you must be who you are.  And being that, becomes someone.

    Sometimes a concept of integrity of purpose requires one to let go of ego, to find it, and the truth seen is more powerful.  The love of power over others is a weakness, real power resides within by controlling the self, even in the potential, of gaining limitless power over others. It is a corruption to try and control others for its own sake. Few humans can do this, the love of power is so strong it is the real corrupting force that plagues the entirety of all human history.

    Galadriel, as a
character, is smart and intuitive, She has many skills and makes tools to help her see (like the Mirror)... but also is aware of traits she has that can betray her spirit and of her goals... so she awaits a test of inner strength to see if she can pass a test of integrity of purpose. One that is guaranteed to press her beyond the limits she has once failed... She needs a second chance to prove she is worthy.  How very human... it is not asking too much but it is very hard to be as you dream you can be. Metaphorically...   I say give her that chance... We learn by doing and expect to fall down some.   It is not the falling down as a human that means failure... It is an unwillingness to try and get back up... and in my view learning something to try and not make the same mistake again.
   
This page is something of an experiment in self analysis and defining purpose of being in a way that others may learn as well.
 
    Live the dream of who you would be, if you could choose. Then make it happen. It takes time, mistakes will happen...  get over it, pick yourself up and try again.
That is not to say that someday I will be perfected, such is not actually possible.  Humans can only try to be the best that they can be and that is different for everyone alive.
    Everyone is different.  Everyone’s goals are different and we each have strengths and weaknesses that should tell us what to do if we listen to our hearts and desires.
And if we know how to listen to what drives our passions... That is the real secret.  What is our inner being telling us and knowing how to listen to it, is the secret to knowing whats inside of our hearts.
    That is why the Creator of all things gave you an evolutionary brain... however you wish to see that, it is an obvious fact... That is why we learn.
Individually, quite fast and at a far far slower pace, collectively.
It is not for me to define how you see the universe. Nor is it yours to define mine.

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I am not afraid to admire others and recognize their skills.  And that their efforts are just as valid as anything found anywhere... especially if they have a following where people become better because of what they are doing...  Many ways to teach if one is looking...  I have an example of someone I think very highly of.

Recognition of someone who lives to be better deliberately and works hard at it every new day:
    Renee O'Connor.
Above: Renée O'Connor
    
     Who is she?  Renée O'Connor most recognized in the past as "Gabrielle" on the television show Xena WP

    I do not wish to focus upon the role but in point of fact, experiencing it as she did, growing with it, helped in setting aspects of a path which helped to form Reneé's views and was a unique, wonderful experience for 6 years. However, It does not define her.  Fans of the show, in fact fans of any powerful role, sometimes have a hard time differentiating the actor with the role.
    Say Basil Rathbone and try not to envision Sherlock Holmes and the connection becomes obvious, from the actors point of view it can be a risk, the result of truly successful roles. 

    Renée today moves beyond the image of this and she is capable of so much more.  So life moves forward with new projects.
2015
   
    Look at who she is now, don't hold onto what you think a person is by what they did at one time...  Don't live in the past. It can be hard especially if some part is as loved as the ones they had but life is not the past... it is the future and what you make of that future is not locked into your past. Your past becomes part of what makes you today, it does not define your now.
    I do not believe that we are merely what we have done.  As long as we go on there are possibilities.  Many of the opportunities of who we become can be directly as a result of what we have done but there are no rules that say we can't make a jump into some greater set of potentials... it is all in your dreams.  Who do you want to be, and how do you make that happen.

    Currently, Renée O'Connor is standing tall being;
    A Director, Writer, Producer, "Film Maker" She gives and gives more... She is a Mother of two and an independent consultant for very healthy skin care products.
    She sees more and wants to share that...
    Renee has a seminar instructional program for others who are looking to find more within themselves... being Aware is her path.
   
She has the mindset of a focused achiever... yet remains always humane with what she says and does...  a balanced person with an Open Heart.
    .I am Aware... http://www.iamaware.info
     Renée is an example of what I am talking about, she just keeps at her goals with energy and enthusiasm... It is hard work, just look at how she has lived.
     Maybe that enthusiasm is the product of a way of thinking. And a healthy life style provides the energy.  100% all of the time.

   
        ...It takes an effort of will to change initially in a particular way.  From the effort and experience of finding a new path...
      Opportunities thus seen will lead to new possibilities of were that may lead that you may not see until you try. 
     How will you know when you get there....  There is no final destination,  just the journey.

     .picture of Renee O'Connor.Arbonne logoArbonne swiss - american made
    Photo by Jadran Lazic – © Jadran Lazic 2012  
        That, in a way, is the point... Life does not end with something successful...  You grow from that to achieve something else.  Growth from past experiences. 
    Now, Renee has grown from who she was in her acting youth, to a role in a hit TV Show which came to an end in 2001 with a lot of knowledge learned while achieving her part of the shows success.  Now, her "life" in this stage we call life just gets better and better focused with knowledge and the application of creative talent.  
   
    Healthy living and organization with a goal and purpose, And she wants to share that with people by helping them achieve their potential. 

And in so doing she achieves her goals as well...

    Nothing beyond the capability of a human being here, just a focused desire to be all she can be, all of the time.
 
Yes, I admire her, and her staunch resolution to being who she is and her as a person a great deal.

    It is my wish to see the big picture of her world as a whole, her
family and friends, past, present and future.
She does not live in a vacuum, she lives in a world of those she interacts with... those productive to her well being and even acquaintances effect the whole of someones life.
In thinking of what this means is the same as realizing we are to a great extent never an island, we are not separate from our world as it is... even if we try and shape it as I know she does and I do and all of us really...  If I am going to adore her, then I am also feeling that all of her world is important to who she is.  And that is a lot of people to like a lot, because now they are important to me.

It cost nothing to smile,  your world may just be a little better for it if it is a genuine desire to be happy and see the world as an integrated whole.

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You are what you eat, And what you put into your body.

 
      A healthy Brain and Body is the other secret to self improvement... Don't use Drugs... especially the drug Tobacco (an absolute poison) and show real restraint on the booze... a small amount may actually have some benefits, too much and too often will diminish the spirit...  Other drugs,  whether or not legal can as well define who and what we are... I would always advise to use as little as can be for all substances which have any affect upon the body and mind.  And yes it is true that the legal remedy's of some laws can be more destructive than the substances themselves, be aware of all of the facts.   Wisdom is found in being aware. Not in a drug.
   
   
Not a diet unto itself but this is good to know about and drink it... it will give energy and is good/tasty/food:
Not for thought, but to eat. obviously if allergic to any of these, don't include it. Common sense. 

We just know it works great.


I thought I would mention it...  I have had a good variety of food and one thing that stands out that is natural and generates lots of energy and is very good for every reason..
Something of a recipe of vegetables and fruits that make a super juice... I assure you of one thing, this is a super combination.
This is to be in combination along with the usual "healthy diet" which can be several good combinations of veggies and meats including a lot of fish.

But this Juice recipe is a wow and is simple.
Requires a mastication type juicer because it will wear out a centrifugal juicer.

The ingredients for two people with four servings over two days  Requires a refrigerator to keep cold:
How to make it will follow.  Buy fresh and high grade...

4 apples - Golden Delicious is a good choice
1/2 whole pineapple - skin and all (contains Bromelain, great for the skin and helps healing)
3 big carrots
1/2 red beet
RED Kale - about four whole leafs with the stems - stops age related macular degeneration.
piece of ginger root - about half a small finger worth.
half a lime (the juice squeezed from it) - (goes in early to slow down oxidation of the goods)
And one or two bananas

How to make - important because this will tax the best of juicers.
and the banana is added with a blender stick last.

I will be making a little video of this soon and putting it in a good location on the web... a video project I need to get done as soon as I can.
showing how to make this is a good thing.

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    Language: you are also what you say:

    It has been said that it is easy to destroy something... Material things, yes it is always easy to destroy the physical products of the mind... In fact things will just decay if left to there own state of existence... not quite so easy to destroy ideas that have merit... those become something collective and can outlast entire civilizations if good enough.  but ultimately even ideas that do not stand the test of time will be left in the dustbin of history... wish proof for this evolution of thought.  look at the nature of change within any language. That extends over any physical example I could think of.  Yes, I like William Shakespeare as well, he was ahead of his time... or was he a great example of his time? Something to consider.  I mean he existed and what does that say...  A person in his time,  Another example of what a human can do.
    William Shakespeare

    Both are true.  Shakespeare invited words that became common within English, in time. So he lead a way, he was ahead of some time. He existed ( b. 1564 - d. 1616 ) with something like an approximate vocabulary of 54,000ish words.  17,677 used in his writings, 1,700 were first seen there....  At some point ones complete vocabulary becomes unmeasurable...    or is the notion itself biased because the actual state of things are themselves becoming harder to measure and quantify. The world was a smaller place but not the thoughts humans can have. Feelings and impressions can be misleading.  His legend is huge... but just look at the works and it is understandable, perhaps the best playwright of all time many say.
I am resisting making some comment right now about the state of learning in public schools and were it is going.  I might comment later though. 

    I wrote about an observation about English as a language some time ago... because I see it as a commonwealth concept. This validity of the concept, of the obvious, allowed people like Shakespeare to be who they were.   Nothing, including academic recognition or educational origins prevents the development of the spirit and the mind in this manor. It does not mean Colleges or University’s do not serve a purpose... but they are not absolutely necessary, to be or to grow as a person.  Not really absolutely necessary, degrees serve a different purpose though and depending what you want from life, within some aspect of the culture... do serve a purpose.

Don't depend on some degree or make yourself seem small because you lack one... nothing is written in stone that says you can not achieve in life, knowledge acquired with only a degree.  Its all out there... to study and observe only requires a dedicated mind, and the will to learn.
 
    Something I heard from someone who was within the presidents office at Stanford University... paraphrased some due to my age and it was a long time ago... time and memory... "We can crank out lots of MBA degrees and those students are well educated. but the ability to fully use the education in an a dynamic way, that which was taught or shown, is not something we or anybody else can teach. That art *is* something that comes from within, We can only point out some direction that may lead or help. The degree only shows completion of a specific program of development.  It is with some faith that others apply some specific attributes to it."  You can not teach what it takes to actually be great at something. Only talent, dedication, smart work and keen observation will help and that can be demonstrated in the works of others we sometimes call great...

 My observations were originally used in the context of a commonwealth notion regarding the open source model of development regarding mathematics used in open source software:
The development of Linux to be specific with the analogy of English itself as a model.
  
    Is English owned? No.
 Is English developed in a closed and secret environment with proprietary tools? No.
 Is English controlled by powers from on high that dictate a license to use it, or is it demanding of fees to use? No.
 Is English perfected? It is in perpetual development... by its users.
 Do the people who use English self improve the existence of English by constantly improving the manor of its use? Yes.
 Why? English is used for communication between people in multiple modes of use, such as verbal, written and it can be transmitted electronically, Optically and by other means.
 Can you make money speaking English? Yes.
 Do you have to make money to speak English? No.
 Is it a secret to know what the words are and what they mean? No.
 Is it a secret to develop new words for English? No
 Is English breakable... I mean to say, Is it dependable and reliable for its intended purpose? Yes.
 Why? It is Open Source in order for it to be usefully developed by those who would like to use it... It is free to use as you wish to use it.
 Why? Because it makes universal communication possible.

Mathematics is the same way only more precise... pure software is mathematics... Patents on software are like making the words one says... illegal in a "patented sentence".  Copyrights, yes, like a book, nothing wrong with copyrights in software but unless it involves very specific hardware for a specific machine to work, then patented software is poison. 
Yes I know, I have one that is shared by several people for a specific type of hardware+computer system.  Even so, that being what it was, self locked into a time and place, its time passed and the world moved on.

What works -  A commonwealth of software as mathematics.
  Influence is the key, Linus Torvalds created the early kernel and set in motion on the internet of its day, a rational operating system kernel for computers that ultimately, by thousands of developers, millions of users, becomes in a many ways, the backbone of the information superhighway we call the internet.  Notice he does not try and dictate how it is done in its entirety "just" manages its being done correctly.  One of the most rational humans I have met or can think of...  Sometimes he is very blunt with what he says and how it is said, however it is not very often he is wrong either.

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   We are what we do.

The world changes and how the populations of the world react to that collective reality as it happens, make the world what it is. The access to this information is not uniform nor is it in any way complete... Today more than ever due to the speed of global communication, make it seem as though it is all happening to fast.  A marvel of having access to a great deal of information, very quickly for some, hardly at all for most who are not connected into the decentralized internet. Most importantly...  The information is a distortion of what really is going on.  Be that as it may the reality we make is a product of those collective cause and effect results.  Directly... And the rest of the natural world is what become the long term results of our reality, in the short term.
    Humans do make a difference on the surface and to some degree the subsurface of the world.  How much is a part of the collective debate. (the Sun has a larger part of it.) If we (humans) were to simply vanish, the natural world would heal in time and the world would no longer be subjected to our transient existence.   We need mother Earth absolutely, the Earth has no need of us at all.   We should for our benefit of the natural order of things, keep that in a clear mind...  We are visitors on this biological and mineral space ship.  There is no manifest destiny 

Some of the information we get is propaganda, directly controlled by the political realities of the human state of nations and corporations, and some of it speculation from "experts" on the information side of the world,  Well intentioned or not, it is what it is. The reality of it is real but the understanding of how and why may not be as real or even the truth.  This is how we exist though.  Its impact on our natural state in the now, is our collective reality. 

What does matter, individually, is that the sum of how you take and respond to this cacophony of information is not just a matter of simple response.  It certainly does not need to be if we are educated and aware of what is going on. 

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This is in high edit mode, just kind of raw at this time:

Thinking processes, just some thoughts at this time, a little bit of chaos.

    Almost all information, relative to the activities of humans has a political factor built into it since almost all of humanity is the political effects resultant we call culture. Call it humanity’s presence in the world, if you like. Whatever you wish to call it... It is our collective reality.  It is a different reality depending on your view of the world your society's and the local realities of the politics you live with or endure.

    Try as I might to remove the "politics" of these thoughts, it is still a reflection of some abstract based on my reality, or my view of what that might be. I am a reflection of the world I live in.
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Sad, as it is... I have a hard time projecting and understanding the magnitude of difference, must be, the reality of... and what is in the mind of someone living in, say North Korea, starving and eating literally grass or their children to stay alive.  I see it,  and think I understand what is going on... but I can not fully be in that space of what is their reality.   My words can have no meaning to them. Some power of a wicked nature that way goes, Their future more a reflection of the will of a few families and what sickness of corruption consumes them.
The general population of such a place exists in an unreal world were access to information untainted by political intent and will does not exist, their view of the west is pure fiction.
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    That is to some degree beyond comprehension in what I think of as a "modern world" 

    If the thought of that is understandable and bothers you, makes you mad at some governments...  then the range of what horrors many humans currently live in is within grasp of comprehension.  I am something of an information junky.  I eat it, and try to digest the full range of what is all.  And sometimes to save myself, because I do feel,  I just have to let go.
    That is the really hard part... letting go.  Doing absolutely nothing about what are obvious atrocities.  That is my total collective power capabilities, relative to that. 

Seeing the world through a prism of the internet.  A selective distortion of information, yet clear enough if you know what is something of a reality.

    The internet well used, can do many things anywhere in the modern world, were allowed and if you have the technical capabilities:
I have the power to witness it.   ( little cameras, sometimes secret cameras, and videos posted to various sites including you-tube.)
I have the power to see the real place via Google Earths 3D algorithms and mapping capabilities or Chromium's mapping of what it can see. (The collective database) Pretty reliable but it is not in real time
 (accept the weather on Google Earth is off by about 15 minuets in many parts of the world, that is part of its database, around the world... Just Awesome, the resolution is not great yet but the fact of its even being, is.
   Some satellite data, some pictures, some 3D synthesis via algorithms, and a very powerful computer with no locks or block on it. I made it. 
That is a lot of power right there.
            
I have the power to investigate the sources of the information and come to some rational view as to its truthfulness or lack thereof.

I can not change the world at large,  Nor is it my intention to do so.  I can really only change my relationship with the world via changing myself.
However, I can write about what I think I understand.  It is that, that can change the world.  Or if I make a movie...  I can influence via the entertainment world to cause change, if I were to chose to put myself in front of a most unpredictable future. 

Getting involved in the direct affairs of nation or corporate states by revealing what are considered state secrets only shortens ones life in this world or in some cases generates a self imposed exile... And living a life of always looking over the shoulder at who (or what) is coming from behind.  I have had enough alphabet soup to understand that reality.

A fair number of young people in positions of access see and make all the mistakes of the self absorbed and narcissistic, very naive.  Like I said the world reacts to too rapid a change and we now live in a world were 3 letter organizations are eating each other trying to consolidate and overreach their power and mandate
. Power corrupts... The entirety of humanity suffers and even the people of the selected "chosen ones" state loose in the end because such times generate a state of distrust of all aspect of the the nation watching itself to death. No good comes of any of it.  The only "good" comes from understanding the root cause... and surviving until the storm passes. 

    The more a person tries to directly control the rest of humanity, the very nature of which is a type of corruption that always leads to destruction.  I don't need to list the examples of those who would try to inflict a way of thinking upon the entirety of humanity. Destruction, it is inevitable.  Even if they have the best of intentions. ( quite rare )  It will fail to work completely as it will be resisted. Because one way is not a possibility.  Not a "religion", not a political "way"  No force will ever work in a positive way, the harder the force, the greater the resistance.
    It does not matter who, what, or why. Opposing forces will become a counter to whatever.  Look at history and try to tell me it is not so.

Will humans ever be different?  Why should they.  The evolution in thinking here is seeing that it is already in the works, that the evolution is partially that collective of information itself.
The Internet is something of a first pass at a collective view of the world, interpreted by the individual minds accessing it from different societies and ways of seeing it.
The aggregate of that is what the world is becoming.

The internet has become in a way... A political power of its own existence... and it should not be surprising that governments seeing it as change..  or a shift in power, many governments will now try to contain its influence.

They will fail of course.  Life finds a way.


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The potential of a destructive to itself "theoretical" world... of one possible world presented:

    I can think of no more destructive element to the trust of a people than an invasion of privacy by a government of corporations and its secret government that is a secret to discuss. One were laws are made in secret and then not disclosed because they are secret... Or spying into the presumed
"private" concerns (but unreal because of an uncertainty of its being private, being compromised in itself ) of its own population, with those secret laws being implemented.  That form of government can and likely will cause some kind of collapse of aspects of its society, the nature and scale of which, is impossible to predict.  A society at war with itself over trust is certain to fail to thrive and may well collapse into discord, distrust of the totality of all government, with internal civil stresses unpredictable and uncertain.  Sounds pretty bad and it is.  What was the nightmare of science fiction writers is becoming likely real and it is happening now.  Take a good, long, hard, look at the reality of our world, that is the reality striped of popular misconceptions of presumed trust.
The fact that it is "illegal" in the constitutional sense as it is, actually operating, is literally academic as it is operating above the law in fact. However the fact of its illegality in the context of what it is supposed to be doing gives a glimmer of long term hope, should it be a reality of a coming near future. I am not is a position to "prove" that this is the case, but this is the conclusions that a fully aware person is likely to come to in today's world of the now.  A real corruption of the highest form as law itself above any other law by decree of it stated goal, in secret.  In such a world there could be only one outcome... Trust no one.
    There is nothing to be done about the above
"theoretical" reality of the world as it may really become... in the short term.

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    Is that scenario reality or just a reaction of what uncertainty can produce...
{The only way this potential reality will be diminished or actually become the dark age of some future worlds history, is for humanity in the larger aspect of its capabilities, is to walk a road higher.}  As individuals who see that there can be no good future through a world like that. And from my perspective given that one lives at all, through that very dangerous precarious world... is to live a life that is wiser and better educated than that which such a world would produce as an individual, even if it existed.  And what if it does?  Would one become corrupted to the level of such a society... or see it as a corruption in the first place.

 
  Make no mistake, the future is not set in stone, You can make a difference, to yourself and to the world.   Walk bravely and above the fear. Disregard deliberate attempts to break your spirit, both from within your own society and from powers emanating from distant society's alien and foreign to yours, no matter were they come from.  Its a universal threat to the spirit of being a human being, from a world that has never been were it is now.  ( And the really ugly story would be, if it was the plan by some terrorist group, its no secret that some religious enterprises have the destruction of the western world at heart, maybe it was their goal to get us to self destruct via "relentless security by fear". ) And the potential that that world presented above may be our future reality makes it seem to me that what was just a necessity becomes an imperative for myself to walk a personal road higher than that which would find such a world acceptable. In the personal sense, I do not need to live in that ugly place at a personal level.  And nether do you.

Even if such a world exists, live with a higher set of personal standards of honesty and integrity.  Relative to the standards set by the people who run the world now, that sounds easy to do.
   

Knowledge with understanding is the key and what you do have a power over, yourself and your perceptions of reality can lead to a higher quality of being.
 
 
I believe it is within my capabilities to make myself with integrity towards a set of principles that operate above the corruptions of the world, no matter what they are.  That is the actuality of my goal.

And I believe it is flat out wrong to assume one has an absolute path, the one answer, above all others, for everyone. 
        Being on a "Mission" to "Save" people is really presumptuous and wrong. 
   
  The thought, that someone who thinks differently from the mainstream (whatever that is and however one defines that) somehow needs to be saved because "they, don't fit" your paradigm of being ... It is presuming that "they" believe "they' are broken and need to be rescued.  I am not a "missionary" either... on some mission or to espouse some one way of being.

I like the idea of ( in metaphor ) adaptive ninjitsu were your ideas flow with a goal and one adapts relative to the forces set to destroy you. 

    Suggestions, sometimes are appreciated by people, quite often though people assume one is being rather pious, at best, when what would be an observation becomes a command to be a different way.    This page is not
militarist thinking.  Nor is it anarchistic, there needs to be order for a civilization to thrive.  A balance between the needs of a society and the needs of an individual within a balanced society.

   (( Balanced is relative to how one sees something like an entire culture: The United States is more balanced than outside flash perceptions can justify on the fly because it is immense and very complicated. As an example... One could say they "Love America" or they "Hate America", both extreme absolutism's need to be referenced to something... Which America is it one is referring to, its a very big place with almost fractal proportions of complexity and almost infinitude's of types of people
The America that tries to preserve the land or the one that creates "Fraking" the land... the America that has an inclination to protect The society of Friends or the America seen through the eyes of the KKK.
The America of NASCAR or Baseball, the America of a collection of National Parks... Or is it an America that created  Gitmo and the Dept of "homeland Security" and a new wave of torture
(What defines ugly government fearing what it can't begin to fathom and generating such distrust of its own people), Or of intellectual presidents like (Ike) Dwight D. Eisenhower ... When absolutism's is expanded to be inclusive of everything a culture is, the very idea of an "absolute" concept dissolves into a meaningless nothing. Sorry it is just not that simple... Nothing is black and white, from super sophisticated thinkers like William F. Buckley, Jr.,  to Intellectuals like Lawrence Lessig, both are very much American in behaviors and actions. As is the multitude of 350 million-ish of other people with no two being the same exactly...  Every country on Earth has an equal issue of perceived Image to the world and its authentic reality of being very much more complicated than pop judgments can reduce it to. Mostly... Some places are awful and genuinely inhuman by design, of some terrible governments.  most of these are in decline for obvious reasons, I think so anyway. And sadly new terrors are rising in places around the world and close to our world, with the rise of secrets within secrets ))

Literally not one over the other.  We need each other.  One can not stand alone...  However, and as observed in history, there often is an imbalance in the relationship of the individual and of society.  Obviously in a perfect world, all peoples would be equal in society as far as "laws" are concerned.  However, in the practical and real world as it is, no such pipe dream exists.

Nothing I write here addresses that relationship directly, change will be very slow, and lucky to survive as change. To note in metaphor...  No tree is equal, were it is planted, the soil, the sunlight and rain... its environment, can make what would be same trees different. And note, trees do not have a mind, mobility, or dynamic selective choices as to what they are... people do, so what makes an unjust reality, changeable, is you.
       
     If you are doing something well enough, you will be influential. I believe that people will naturally gravitate towards that which works to make life, more than it is, if they are looking. 
     However, that is not an assumption of any reality as the world more often than not looks very unfavorably in the short term on someone who is too critical of society, as it is.

This dynamic is a consistent human
behavior with its variables defined by which human society we are discussing. Change is going to happen, evolution or devolution. 
renaissances or dark ages.  There are no guarantees, no manifest destiny's, but also consistent with human behavior is the driving force of existence of all, of individual humans and also of humankind as a society, and that make civilizations real... 
    Hope.  We pray with it, we die without it. We reach for the stars with it and entire society's and civilization's fail and fall when hope no longer seems present whether real or imagined.  Humans have hope built into them as a part of what it is to be alive... It is a debatable subject as to whether trees do. They live, life finds a way.

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More soon,



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welcome to Personal GrowthWeb page Created with BlueGriffon 3.0 which is too new to comment on, as yet.
        Nov. 16
th, 2017  
        Original document creation 2012... Perpetual Change deliberately engaged in the pursuit of becoming a better human being.
                 Its just a journey of Personal Growth, as there never will be an arrival, just the journey itself...

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